As we get closer and closer to “Dday” as I like to call it, the excitement (and disbelief) continues to grow. We are so unbelievably ready to meet this little wonder but our impatience is easily matched by our anxiety. We are continuing our hypnobirthing classes with practice on our own and are approaching our plan for a natural birth with so much excitement there’s little room for other emotion! I feel confident in myself and confident in my husband. Working together to prepare for a natural birth has brought us closer in ways we never could have anticipated. I imagine laboring together and welcoming our first child will bond us beyond comprehension. Physically, I’m ready to meet the little one as I would love, love, LOVE to wear normal clothes, go for a normal run, and sleep like a normal human being (and yes I know that a silly thing to wish given that I’ll never again sleep like a normal human being!). Mentally and emotionally, I don’t think we can ever be 100% prepared but I feel that we’ve made huge progress in our preparation and we’ve made the right choices in terms of how we’ve prepared.
As luck would have it, this babe is due to arrive just 3 weeks(ish) into my first semester of nursing school. As I said, we have a feeling bad timing is going to be a reoccurring theme with her. Today was actually the first day of class and was rough standing for hours on end with my belly hanging out in mid-air. I’ve been falling all over myself trying to get organized so school suffers as little as possible when she finally arrives. Probably the MOST nerve-wracking part of the late-stage waiting game is wondering when she’s going to show up and what that’s going to mean as far as school is concerned. We can only speculate so much but have been able to find peace in knowing that we’ll manage one way or another!
School aside, our focus has definitely turned more internal. I’m only now realizing (as I write this) that as I’ve progressed in pregnancy and preparation, I’ve relied on outside information, support, and validation less and less. Through hypnobirthing, relaxation, and my husband’s encouragement I’ve gained continued confidence in myself and my body’s ability to help this baby find her way. At the same time, I’ve seen my husband’s confidence in nature’s plan and his ability to be the support I need grow alongside my own. On the occasion that any doubt or worry creeps in, I’ve found it easier and easier to find reassurance in my own strength and confidence that I’ve not only made the right decision but I’ve taken the proper steps to prepare.
I’ve only had one or two bouts of Braxton Hicks contractions but I’m glad to have SOME idea what a contraction feels like. Now that I am coming up on 37 weeks, every odd movement, twinge, and tummy ache sets me into high alert wondering, hoping, and even fearing that “this is it!” At times when I’m uncomfortable or feel ill I’m amazed at how great an impact a relaxation exercise can have and that has added a bit more encouragement. Occasionally I have episodes of panic when I realize she could literally come any day and feel that I still need more time to prepare and focus on my relaxation. I try to replace that anxiety with the reassurance that IF she decides to come today or tomorrow or in a week, that there’s a reason and both she and my body are ready for the challenge!
You can read more of Allison’s Birth Journey by…
…turning back to read more on how she feels about her growing belly… Growing Anticipation
…reading the next page, the story of her birth… Birth Story (coming soon)
Once I get in the right place mentally, I think my body will know I’m ready for the next phase. I’m so excited to meet our baby girl! Hurry up and get here so I can cuddle you!